If you attended the semi-final game in New Orleans, you know the only thing more painful than the loss was the commercial rotation they played in the Superdome during breaks. Unfortunately, we are only human, and Taco Bell has proven to have some advertising geniuses on staff because only a few days after the game, I found myself in the Taco Bell drive-thru.
Let’s get this out of the way: I’m not proud of my actions that night, but things happen. Things like eating BLT, Beefy Cheddar and Spicy Chicken Crunchwrap Sliders.
Similar to Taco Bell’s classic Crunchwraps, the sliders follow a formula of a soft tortilla filled with meat and various toppings folded into a disc-like shape. The difference is that the sliders are smaller in size, and the crunch comes from Fritos chips instead of a hard-shell tortilla. Due to its new listing and for reasons incomprehensible to me, the sliders haven’t been ordered often at the local Tuscaloosa Taco Bell, so mine were all missing the integral crunchy component of Fritos.
The BLT flavor seems the most unusual for a fast-food Mexican chain, but it stays true to the classic combo of bacon, lettuce and tomato. The lettuce and tomato are the same lackluster ingredients they throw on top of any taco supreme, and the bacon tastes uncannily similar to bacon bits that have been picked over at a salad bar. These components are tossed with a creamy avocado ranch sauce that mostly tastes like plain mayo. The BLT is definitely the weakest of the slider trinity, so things only look up from there.
Beefy Cheddar is marginally better. The mysterious ground beef featured in most menu items is the main player here, mixed with nacho cheese sauce. This flavor could be bearable if doused with a few packets of fire sauce.
Finally, Spicy Chicken features shredded chicken and a chipotle sauce. Easily the standout of the group, Spicy Chicken has the best (read: least offensive) flavor, although it isn’t all that spicy.
Overall, the new Crunchwrap sliders taste exactly like everything else on Taco Bell’s menu. The best time to try these new dishes is likely during Taco Bell’s patented late-night fourth meal time when most poor choices are made. As long as your expectations are low, you won’t be disappointed.
