Asher Elbein

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Blunt advice from a salmon

Over the past few weeks, the opinion pages of The Crimson White have been filled with a curious seasonal phenomenon.

Machine wins election, not future

On March 11, 2014, Machine candidate Hamilton Bloom was elected president of the SGA. Nor was he the only mechanized candidate to do so.

America's real national pastime: religious hysteria

It will shock nobody to learn that America thrives on spectator sports. What may shock people is that our favorite spectator sport is not football, or basketball or even – perish the thought – soccer.

Machine's silence worth a thousand words

On Monday, the very day when Kelly Horwitz filed a brief alleging fraud in the Tuscaloosa municipal elections, we woke to find our residence halls covered in fliers.