Games of the week: Alabama hosts LSUBy Matthew Speakman | 11/01/2017 10:48pm
LSU vs. Alabama
This has been the most prominent game on both team’s schedules ever since Nick Saban turned the rivalry upside-down in 2007. Both teams have consistently been at the top of college football for many years. In Ed Orgeron’s first year, the Tigers started slow with a loss to college football powerhouse Troy. Orgeron, whose voice sounds like you’re grinding up screws in a blender, has LSU back to playing at a high level since then. Running back Derrius Guice will be one of the best players Alabama has faced this season.
Still, there is one, much bigger story line surrounding this game. Orgeron is sponsored by Raising Cane’s, which is totally awesome and completely appropriate for LSU’s head coach. The problem lies with his order. He gets extra coleslaw instead of subbing it out for fries or toast like a normal person. That is a crime against humanity. Coleslaw is horrible and whoever decided that cabbage and mayonnaise would be good together is a horrible person. If you like cole slaw in the way that Orgeron does, we aren’t friends.
Auburn vs. Texas A&M
It’s November, and everybody knows that means. Kevin Sumlin and the Aggies have to lose, and lose a lot. In the last couple season, Texas A&M has started out red hot, only to collapse down the stretch. This season, they have started that early. Mississippi State went to Kyle Field last week and destroyed Texas A&M. It doesn’t get any easier. Auburn, who is one of the better teams in the SEC, get its shot this week. Kerryon Johnson will probably get 100 carries and Gus Malzahn’s head will come very close to exploding as an assistant coach tells him that they’ve already called “fake jet-sweep, running back dive” 85 times in the first quarter. Still, Auburn should win this game.
Oklahoma vs Oklahoma State
Oklahoma seems to be the exact same team under Lincoln Riley that it was under Bob Stoops. The Sooners have looked great at times, but totally blew a game against a team that they had no business losing to. This week does not get any easier. Mason Rudolph for Oklahoma State is just as good as Baker Mayfield, and has plenty of weapons to spread the ball to. That is not even the biggest problem for Oklahoma. Mike Gundy, who is totally a man and is totally older than 40 now, has one of the best hair styles you will see. It’s an incredible example of business in the front, party in the back. Only person to ever sport a mullet that saucy was hockey player Jaromir Jagr. Gundy’s mullet gives him special powers. I know it does.
Virginia Tech vs. Miami
It’s probably time for Miami to lose. We are all ready for it to happen. Every week, the Hurricanes squeeze by a team and remain undefeated. Last week, it was against North Carolina, who barely even has a football team this season. Still, you have to give Mark Richt and Miami credit for this run they are on. It will most likely come to an end this week. Josh Jackson and the Hokies are ready to end the undefeated run. Jackson has been fairly impressive in his freshman season. I think this week the Hurricanes will finally meet their match at the hands of Virginia Tech. If they don’t, then football will continue to be generous to Miami.